In the Name of the Moon!

Henlo readers.

I’ve been watching Sailor Moon.

I was very nervous because Erin’s picture wasn’t loading when we got back into town, but she still exists so I guess we’re alright? I hope? She had another vaccination clinic so that was cool.

I wish I could just go to the park and get free vaccinations.

Also five of the people who got vaccinated wanted to get with Erin. Like they can’t even wait until she’s not working to hit on her? Ugh.

… and we got this notification after I was through clicking through like four or five ‘ugh, I’m not waiting this long to get a shot I’m leaving’ messages. So I don’t think we did all that great a job?

But if the hospital thinks it was awesome I’m not gonna complain.

Tantalum is not so interesting because he mainly just has to do good in work and also get his writing skill up. He needs charisma for reporting but I don’t really like skilling for charisma. So.

This is an item that comes with the game so it’s 100% not cheating for reals. And I’m at least not doing my normal thing, which would be to fill the lawn with like ten of these things so I don’t have to wait for the cooldown period.

Platinum: Hey, Gold! How was your day?

Gold: Didn’t you go home with that Dedrick guy? Why are you here.

Platinum: Dedrick invited me over so he could profess his undying love to me, but I have a boyfriend in Egypt so it was… awkward.

I think Gold is pissed off that he can’t start a blog until he turns thirteen.

I accidentally agreed to have Tantalum go on a date with some random person. But at least Rhenium is here and also possibly potions?

Rhenium: So… Mom kind of died so that I could live… kind of funny, in a way… life is enigmatic, like a jellyfish…

Tantalum: You really need to stop drinking the shit you’re trying to sell because we don’t have any more death flowers to give you. : I

Tantalum: Ohhhh… Rosalinda. I thought I was going out with my brother’s ex at first. But weren’t you just saying that you were into my wife earlier today?

Rosalinda: I thought maybe we could discuss the possibility of an arrangement.

Tantalum: Well, polyamory can be a healthy and fulfilling relationship choice, but the media already gets on my case about sleeping with one werewolf, to whom I am married…

Rosalinda: Eh, it was worth a shot.

Tantalum: While you’re here, mind letting me promote a restaurant? I’ve had this opportunity for ages.

Latonya (probably?): Do you think it would work out with me? I’m not a supernatural.

Tantalum: I’m just going to promote this restaurant to you and leave. :I

I’m at a loss for where to put all of Iridium’s Sweet Loot right now. Should probably at least sell the ingots since they’re not even, like, an impressive metal?

But it’s prom night so no one cares about interior decorating and/or the price of copper.

Sheree: Ready? 🙂

Iridium: Yeah, I just gotta do homework first.

Iridium no.

Iridium: Okay, you’re right. My girlfriend is super cute! She has a super cute dress on! We’re going to be super cute together… right after I work on that algebra problem.

I had to force her to go to prom.

Sheree was already in the limo by the time Iri got the memo so unfortunately no picture with them together. 😦

Gotta go check on Platinum and make sure he’s heading towards school. Last I checked he was in Sheree’s house, oddly enough.

… okay, this time it’s not my fault.

Sheree: … my girlfriend just jumped out of the limo. o_o

… she’ll meet you there.

Platinum’s the Prom King!

… and Iridium is the Queen.

Awkward.

Iridium: This crown is cheap-ass plastic. I could find a way better one on my own.

Aw. The ship name is Shereedium. Platinum would also have a ship name but I forget which guy he actually ended up dating. And the nature of his generation means that they wouldn’t ‘end up’ together anyway. Not on a permanent basis. Whoops.

Someone else must have been wearing casual clothes to prom, ’cause that’s what Platinum was wearing.

… omigod that poor kid never had a chance.

Also this old guy who was creeping around outside of prom never had a chance. RIP in peace, dude.

Prom lets out just in time for all the teens to be traumatized.

Iridium: Oh no! That poor man is DYING!

Platinum: … what was he doing outside the high school, anyway?

Sheree: Hey, I remember you. Are you gonna gank that paparazzi lady next?

Probably Latonya: 😦

And then Death stuck around. For a very, very long time.

So I watched him.

Where you going?

Death: Iᴛ’s ᴍʏ ʟᴜɴᴄʜ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ, ᴀɴᴅ I ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴇᴀᴛ, sᴏ…

Time for a little light reading.

Death: I’ʟʟ ʙᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀɴxɪᴏᴜs ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪᴛ ᴇɴᴅs.

Rude.

Ernest: So how was prom night?

Platinum: It was great! I won Prom King.

Iridium: I wond Prom Queen.

Platinum: We watched a dude die.

Iridium: And the full moon makes our voices super deep which is cool.

Gold also enjoyed the full moon, apparently.

It’s one in the morning and the zombies are out, but it’s not a school night so what can you do.

Iridium: All that prom stuff really distracted me from my homework. :I

You and your homework!

We got prom pictures back and Iridium’s prom picture wins. She won at prom. No one else needs to take prom pictures.

After homework, it’s time to practice werewolf battles.

I forgot that we had that gnome.

Iridium: That’s what you get! I’ve been training to take down mummies with my bare hands!

Platinum: I’m a lover not a fighter. 😦

Nearly synchronized howling, right down to fucking up and coughing at the end.

And so another full moon sets, life goes back to normal, and–

I think a ghost broke our computer!

They weren’t even a family ghost. I might just have to send the paparazzi and zombie ghosts away if they’re gonna pull this crap.

Gold: Mom, no! Bad! Stop that!

Erin: I’m your mother.

Gold: You’re ruining our furniture, is what you are!

Human!Erin then got an opportunity that amounted to settling an argument and ‘she said, she said,’ between two sims in the same household.

Their whole house is a mess, though, look at this playroom.

The walls don’t even match.

I Am Forgetful

Me: I’m going to take pictures sparingly while traveling because it essentially can add entire weeks to a sim’s lifespan and if we do the travel generation it’s gonna be loooong.

Also me: This entire chapter.

Erin: Wow… you’re not even touching it, you know that, right?

Platinum: Moommmmmmm.

Erin’s actually very excited about her werewolf kids though. Wants to start a pack and all that. Terrorize the town.

Janae: Ugh, Erin Mendeleev, gross!

Erin: I was thinking about my family and you ruined it. 😡

She’s out vaccinating the population against rabies or kennel cough or something.

Purple hair girl: Hey, I was in line first! No cutting!

I agree, that was very rude.

Did the Eartha move for you, too?

We’re already scheduled to go to Egypt, game, calm down.

Erin’s sister who is a vampire came to the park, too, and also Hafnium, but the vaccination clinic was done already. We have some time to chat, though. I decided to wait for Platinum’s birthday so he can get a datemate in Egypt or something.

Hafnium is not amused with Erin trying to turn him into a creature of the night.

In other news. We had cherries here the whole time. Not that they would have completed the garden by themselves.

Hap borth Platinum.

He’s irresistible.

Like, officially.

In other news, I named Tantalum’s latest article SKREEM because I was under the impression that he had to write 15 articles, and this was the 15th. But the actual thing is 10 articles, and I just misremembered, so he’d completed that objective already.

One of our objectives was also partnering in a business, apparently, and I did that too without knowing that it was something that we were supposed to do. I think we’re partners with the grocery store?

Also I had to use this pattern for Platinum because. When else can I use it.

Whoops got two collection helpers.

This chapter is like. Airing out all the times I screw up.

Then we went to Egypt and I forgot to take an establishing shot.

Iridium: Robbing graves for a corporation that is morally-questionable at best? Sounds legit.

But what corporations aren’t morally-questionable at best?

Iridium got her LTW. They grow up so fast. :’)

… Gold you will get shawarma when you go home and your father cooks it for you. We’re not doing this again.

Gold can’t actually get a blog yet so he’s spending his vacation streaming videos, which I think builds skill. It also builds our phone bill because of roaming charges.

Iridium: *runs directly into a bush because ADVENTURE*

Erin: So what are you going to do while your sister is exploring ancient tombs, Platinum?

Platinum: I graduated on honor roll, mom; I figured I had time to relax. :/

Iridium: Wow, a dead person. So scary. Not like we don’t have tons of dead people at home. :I

Magic switches, secret walls. All in a day’s work. Time to return a relic to a guy because this was the tutorial tomb and I didn’t feel like taking pictures of something I’ve done like a hundred times. : P

… and it’s a full moon.

Mahmoud: I told you, Ali! These legacy sims are too dramatic! This one is becoming a wolf!

Iridium accidentally made her Morcucorp contact faint. : P

And then Platinum… followed Ali… into an empty shell of a house?? For some reason??? I’m confused but the lighting is shit here so I wasn’t going to stick around to ask questions.

Lighting is shit everywhere on a full moon though.

Iridium: I’m… supposed to contact you? Why do you smell strongly of alcohol? I don’t need my superior wolf nose to know that this isn’t very professional.

Nabila/Dunya/Layla: Yeah, I’m extremely drunk. But you can’t see my face with this shitty lighting so how are you gonna tattle on me?

I think this might have been the guy whose home we invaded for shawarma.

You can tell this is the next day because Iridium has less fur.

Iridium: What’s your opinion on Morcucorp.

Platinum had his first kiss in the bathroom and got a boyfriend. And then I checked out the generation rules for heartbreaker or whatever it’s called and it’s only necessary to have, like, two different significant others. And if Platinum takes the ‘be boyfriend of 10 different sims’ thing I think it only starts counting once he actually gets the LTW? So he just has a boyfriend in Egypt that we’re not gonna break up with yet.

Maybe he’ll come to prom?

Erin is doing piss poor at getting those scarab beetles, in part because I’m pretty sure the number she needed to collect went up when we got here. But she’s enjoying herself anyway.

Geb: Hey, legacy girl, you’re cute. ❤

Iridium: Yup! Cute and taken. I have a girlfriend. Who I love. Please just tell me what you think about Morcucorp.

After finally getting everyone’s opinions on the shady corporation, we go back out to explore more tombs! This isn’t even the part of the pyramid we’re supposed to be exploring right now but it was here!

A mummy!

We just kindof walked slowly away from the mummy.

Iridium: I wonder where this leads!

Back to the entrance where this woman almost gave us a heart attack.

Iridium: … what are you doing here?

Paparazzi: … what are YOU doing here?

Iridium: … nothing.

If I’d just remembered that we needed flamefruit for one of these adventures, we could have been finished already.

Iridium: That’s boring though.

Who the heckie is sending us furniture in Egypt and how are we getting this on the plane?

Gold: I still want shawarma. :I

You will get shawarma if you go to the fridge and grab some food so I can teleport it to your sister’s inventory. She’s starving.

I mean she has flamefruit but those are important quest objects.

If you bring someone with you while adventuring you never have to eat cruddy adventure rations.

As long as you can teleport delicious food between one another.

Paparazzi: I see you survived.

Iridium: I see that you’ve been standing around here for like two days. 😛

Paparazzi: Touché.

… we’ll save this for next time.

And then, with only a couple hours to spare, Erin actually manages to catch the bugs that she needs. There were lke entire days where not one scarab spawned. But here we are.

Tooth and Claw

In our last chapter, both of our founders died, but we’re going to keep on keeping on. Both in the legacy and in the slumber party, which still has guests.

Felisha: *yawn* Gosh, I didn’t sleep a wink after watching that lady die! Although I guess last night was probably worse for you than for me, huh?

Platinum: Why are you still in my house?

Felisha: What horrible table manners.

He can eat however he wants, Felisha. You are pretty rude for insisting that this party is continuing through the tragedy last night. Although I guess she didn’t run off yelling about how much the party sucked. So there’s that.

Given how much of a ghost problem we already had before either of our founders even died, I’m pretty sure Lu will be back.

Oh hey.

Osmium died last night too.

Gold, being a toddler, is blissfully unaware of the concept of mortality, so he’s pretty much the only one who is not sad.

The other person who wasn’t sad was Iridium, because she’s having her birthday after the full moon postponed it. I was literally just about to buy a cake when the game camera zoomed over to her; I’m not used to autonomous aging before like 7 PM.

Forgot for a second that I could choose traits and was actually using that privilege.  Game, no. Not supernatural skeptic. She’s a werewolf wtf.

Our fuzzy explorer, Iridium Mendeleev. Decked out in a lot of bling because what else are you supposed to do with the priceless jewelry you find in long-forgotten tombs, amirite?

I think I gave her the athletic trait.

Erin also had a birthday but she mostly looks the same. Except the game changed her hair but I didn’t feel like changing it back. Maybe later. Maybe never. Probably never.

I’m lazy.

Nobody had had a good night’s sleep at this point and everyone was miserable, including the toddler because no one was feeling good enough to efficiently care for him, so I took the first excuse I could to pile them all in the Motive Mobile.

Party time!

Oh hey, Osmium got better!

Hafnium is also at the party. Good opportunity for getting acquainted with the extended family, kids!

When you’re a ravenous beast of the night but also a good and caring sister.

Platinum: I literally had no say in this because I’m a child and have to do what my parents tell me but ok.

Erin was happy to find another werewolf. I mean, the kids are also werewolves, but she’s not allowed to beat them up.

This is practice fighting.

Erin has a lot of practicing to do.

While we’re here, we find a dragon egg.

YOINK.

Iridium cannot play fight with human Ernest, but the next best thing is pillow fighting.

When we got home from the party, our dragon hatched. Bubbles 2.0. Please don’t glitch out when I redo the house for gen 3.

Iridium is allowed to ride the bus now that she’s a teen, apparently.

Trees are also allowed to ride the bus, apparently.

Having werewolf kids in the house raises… unique issues.

Ernest: Can I tell him to stop? Or is that culturally insensitive or something? How do werewolves work??

I can tell him to stop.

… I was going to say something like ‘geez they should make scratching posts for this game’ but they did and Pets crashes my computer. :/

Iridium invites Sheree over.

Dedrick came on his own.

Sheree: Oh, Iridium! I was right, you did grow up to be super cute!

Iridium: Did you just… have a birthday on the way over here? For the second time in like two days?

Sheree: What I have no idea what you’re talking about let’s go inside.

In my defense I’m allowed to use cheats to fix things when the game is broken and I’m pretty sure this isn’t how aging is supposed to work.

Note to self: Don’t prioritize talking with new friends over eating with werewolf sims. They will transform and make said new friends, and also parental figures, pass out. It is awkward for everyone.

Iridium: My grandma died a couple days ago.

Sheree: Yeah, I was there. It was fucked up.

Dedrick: Can I talk to Iridium?

Sheree: No. : P

After Sheree went home, it was time for play fighting since Iridium is old enough to fight her mother now.

Then Gold had a birthday.

About halfway through doing Gold’s makeover and going ‘how do you even do a ‘social media’ theme in the sims’ it hit me. Cats. So a cat themed room.

I don’t have a ton of cat-themed objects because, as I have said, the Pets expansion hates me, but I did my best.

And here is Gold!

His third trait is probably like friendly or something? Gotta be social to social network.

Lutetium came back!

And proceeded to drink like every quick drink that had been left out. It was a lot. The Mendeleevs as a whole have a problem.

Ernest went to go hug and kiss her or whatever but she wasn’t having it.

Lutetium: Ernest. You’re young, and I’m dead. You should go find a nice, living girl. Or boy. Whatever.

Ernest: Lu, this is a legacy household. I’m not needed to carry on the family name; I’m basically stuck here fixing sinks and doing laundry until I die.

Lutetium: It’s not so bad. Just wait for a nice NPC to walk through the doors and then pounce. That’s how I met you.

Platinum: Grandma, I missed you so mu–

Lutetium: Shh, I’m just here to get my drink on and watch the backlog of game show episodes on the DVR.

Everyone is on the bus!

Maybe because the bus driver is worried that Iridium will eat her if she doesn’t let them get on.

So, some exciting things. First is prom night!

Second is that Erin… why are you digging through the trash?

Erin: I’m not entirely sure why.

…anyway. Erin has an opportunity to go to Egypt, which will possibly let all the kids get a head start on their LTWs? Except for Platinum, since he’s, like, not old enough to go on dates. But he can maybe befriend some grown ups who can be invited over when he’s an adult, as they will have magically stayed the same age? Who knows.

Did I ever tell you all about the time I had this one pregnancy mod? My sim took her teenage daughter to China and we just kind of ignored her while doing tomb stuff and when we came back the teen was pregnant. I was unaware that ‘autonomous risky woohoo’ extended to teenagers. Good times.

Erin: So, I don’t know why my work uniform is completely different between my werewolf and human forms. But that’s not what I came to talk to you about.

Erin: I have a job opportunity or maybe someone random just called me? I wasn’t paying that much attention. But I’m going to Egypt, and if you do well in school I’ll bring you kids along.

Gold: Ugh. School is garbage. And visiting Egypt is probably also garbage, given that it’s really hot there and I’m forced to wear a sweater every day?

Erin: Now, Gold, I know that your goal in life is to run a successful sims legacy blog, which I don’t understand but will respect, but school is still very important, and furthermore–

Iridium: YEET. Finished my homework! Going to Egypt!

Iridium: Got a prom date! Everything’s coming up Iridium!

I was intent on getting Sheree off the dating market before she picked up a different datemate on her second go through high school.

Also they’re girlfriends now.

I can’t find any pregnancy mods that actually work anymore but I swear I’ll make it work out somehow if she’s heir.

Erin: Oh, Iridium, is this your little friend? 😀

Iridium: UGH MOM NO.

Another Moonlit Party

Hey hey another update.

I took a quick peak at Sam’s skills because I was curious about how far he’d gotten in them. He’s almost maxed out on painting? And pretty good with guitar too, although his life bar’s pretty full so I wouldn’t expect him to finish his LTW.

Also: level four of charisma. How does that happen?

Going to try and remember toddler skilling this time around, but we have seven/eight people in our household depending on how you count it and things are hectic balancing needs and skills and homework and all the articles Tantalum has to write.

Ernest: Wow, that having kids things looks great.

It’s not going to happen dude. You’re a generation too late to be adding new blood to the legacy line, our household is full, and your wife is incapable of getting pregnant by the very design of this game. So no.

Erin’s still out of work so she fixes things around the house for me. We should focus on having more money and also possibly a more manageable house size next generation so we can have sinks and things that don’t break so easily.

I mean I could get Ernest to fix them all because he has super high handiness but I don’t want to commit to putting the same unbreakable sinks in every house. They’re ugly.

I get this opportunity and I’m like… Lutetium has never touched a piano in her life???

Except apparently she has. When did this happen.

Platinum has a new friend. We’ll have to invite her over sometime to see her.

None of the kids have noticed that there’s a playground on the side of the house for them. At least Erin’s making use of it.

And Tantalum’s gotten a new writing… acheivement… thing. Whatever the little challenges for each of the skills does. This one makes his articles sell better, but from my personal observations it seems like he writes them faster now too? Who knows.

Teaching Gold to talk.

Gold: Bwiefcase!

Erin: No, Gold. That was Hafnium’s thing.

Ernest is absolutely not doing anything of the sort.

Iridium: Not even if I went?

Absolutely not. I’m saving the adventuring for you, and you’re much too tiny and flammable to…

Actually I’m pretty sure sims kids are immune to stuff like burning to death?

If you give an article a name that’s already been used, it just suggests adding ‘2’ to the end. We’re going for it.

This one I named myself.

Latonya: Woo! I’m here to party!

It’s three in the morning.

Lutetium and Ernest are oddly in love for having known each other like two hours before getting engaged. It’s sweet. But also, it’s three in the morning. Sleep time.

Latonya no.

Moving on to people who sleep at appropriate hours. The bus has gone back to parking so far from the house that the game considers Iridium to be ‘skipping school’ before she can get on.

I think the bus driver just has it out for her?

Iridium’s just going to ride her bike to school from now on, I think. Until she learns to drive, at least. Apparently, the game doesn’t care how late you actually get to school, as long as it thinks that you’re on your way there.

Ernest no.

“Give Rhenium Mendeleev a Death Flower before time runs out.”

I am very concerned.

But before I send Lutetium out to apparently save her son’s life, Erin’s back from her first day at work. It was rough, apparently.

She just turned on the television that’s in a completely different room. You can’t even watch it from where she’s standing. It was that rough.

Eric: Wanna talk about it? Over dinner? 😉

Not that rough, Eric. : /

I’ll admit that I don’t really read print news, but I’m pretty sure newspapers don’t run articles that are seventy-five pages long?

I was going to have a goof about Lutetium walking into the potion shop and acting like it was Rhenium’s house, but he’s the shopkeeper here so actually for all intents and purposes this is basically where he lives.

Lutetium: Seriously, Rhenium, what did you do???

Rhenium: I may have tried to make my own elixirs? They… didn’t come out right.

Lutetium: You just mixed a bunch of plants together and drank it?

Rhenium: Yeah. The doctor says I have like an hour left to live.

Lutetium: Well are you still on the clock?

Rhenium: I’m always on the clock. : I

Neither nor rain nor impending death shall stop the consignment specialist.

Lutetium: … I have an idea.

Lutetium: Think fast!

So… if mummies are dead, does this count as murder? Discuss in comments.

Sweet bandage wrapped need bars. I feel like I’ve had a mummy in a household before but I don’t remember.

We got a painting mummy now. I wonder if being a mummy extends his lifespan or whatever.

Fly: I don’t know about that but living in this this filth isn’t doing him any favors!

Platinum wants a sleepover. And also has maybe developed bimple pox, since I don’t remember him having it before.

That is a pretty bad case, too.

Iridium: Gold is trying to starve me to death. :/

Note to self, nursery on the first floor in the next house.

Iridium was drinking from a blood pack earlier and got sick. Now she’s eating brains. The child is confused about what kind of supernatural being she is.

You know you don’t have elementary school anymore, right? You’re slated to become a teen tonight.

So then Platinum’s slumber party will be kind of a birthday party? Maybe?

No one invited glitchy imaginary friends, though! Go home!

No I said go home.

The teenager in the chair is Sheree, who must have had a birthday recently too. Maybe Iridium can get a head start on having friends in high school.

Iridium: HiI’malmostateenandyou’repretty!

Erin: Tungsten? Yeah, I’m not really into cheating on my partner with his brother? You’re probably thinking of Hafnium’s ex girlfriend. :/

Whoops, forgot it was a full moon.

‘Iridium is starting to freak out with terror!’

Erin: You’re a werewolf, too, Iridium.

Iridium: Yeah but I’ve kind of been experimenting lately.

Aaaand Sheree is a zombie.

That’s what I get for hosting a party on the full moon. Should really pay more attention to that. In my defense, though, I’ve never seen full moon zombies convert other sims until starting this save file. Not even in other people’s games.

Platinum keeps his other party guest inside, safe from the zombies. Although I think young children are probably immune.

Platinum: Do you want to get tickets to see a movie sometime?

Felisha: Only if you pay for it and only if it’s not the emoji movie.

I guess being undead doesn’t actually keep you from dying.

Death: Sᴇʀɪᴏᴜsʟʏ? Tʜᴇ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟ Mᴇɴᴅᴇʟᴇᴇᴠ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ’s ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɪɴ ʜᴏᴜsᴇʜᴏʟᴅ? I ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ɢᴏᴛ ʀɪᴘᴘᴇᴅ ᴏғғ ᴇᴀʀʟɪᴇʀ ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɪᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ғʟᴏᴡᴇʀ.

Lutetium: Don’t worry, Death, I got you covered.

Lutetium no. 😦

Erin: I’m sad but also wondering where my husband is? He should be here.

Lutetium: … I’m also kind of wondering where my husband is, to be honest.

Death: Oʜ, I ɢᴏᴛ ʜɪᴍ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ.

Lutetium: No, I meant the hot one.

Well, neither husband is here but Felisha is. She will be traumatized for life.

Or not.

Felisha: Platinum, is that your mom? She’s super pretty!

Platinum: OmiGOD, can you shut up? My grandma is dying.

Lutetium: Please, Death, I’ve barely lived!

Death: Yᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ғɪᴠᴇ ᴋɪᴅs, ᴛᴡᴏ ʜᴜsʙᴀɴᴅs, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴋɪᴅs. Dᴏɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇ ɢʀᴇᴇᴅʏ.

Lutetium: Yeah, but I’ve barely lived with my second husband, who is hot and young! And I literally had a death flower on me until like a couple hours ago! I’ve been ripped off.

Platinum: WAH GRANDMA! WHY IS NO ONE ELSE HERE??

Sheree: Ugh, first I die, and then some other lady dies? This party sucks.

Okay, fine, Sheree. Be that way. You were kind of outside of the party’s intended age demographic anyway. :/

Agh. To make things worse, Lutetium didn’t even get the best grave! I refuse to believe it!

Generation 1 Goals

✓Date/Marry w/ loves the outdoors, green thumb, or angler

✓No Woohoo before Marriage

✓Get Married

✓Have both Boy and Girl

✓No Watermelons/Apples to sway gender of child

✓Master Gardening Skill

✓Plant Every Plant from Grocery Store

Obtain all Plants/Seeds (We missed Cherimola Blan Grapes, Cherries, Cranerlet Nuala Grapes, Glow Orbs, Renoit Grapes and White Caps)

If you get call for learning Steak, Egg, Cheese, Omni plant, complete it. (No one ever called us because they’re losers.)

Go for the Gold

I never know how to start new chapters. But I’m not starting it out with ‘the game screwed up and the trip to Egypt never happened’ and that’s all I could really want.

Iridium, I asked before we left ‘do you have to go to the Temple of Queen Hatshepsut’ and you said no!

Iridium: But I didn’t have to go then.

The generic ‘porcelain dining set’ on Iridium’s bedside table has been replaced by some of the things we picked up in Egypt. Nothing says ‘sweet dreams’ like a jar with a human organ inside.

Turns out that Erin was more pregnant than I thought. Oops.

Erin: So I guess when the paparazzi said I peed my pants, it was actually just my water breaking!

No, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t it.

Meet Gold! He’s a friendly couch potato, and the last kid for this generation, according to my charts.

Erin: I can finally go back to work. ;u;

Here we see a ghost invading our hot tub.

… Now that we have nice things, I might have to move all the paparazzi and zombie ghosts somewhere else. Being stuck here isn’t meant to be a reward.

And here we have Gold’s room. There aren’t a lot of toddler-centered items in this game that fit the theme of ‘social networking.’ We have the toy that’s supposed to be an alien communication ray or something on the floor there, and that was as close as I could find.

The painting on the wall was something that we got for free for being celebrities. I figured I wouldn’t move it when I went in to redecorate the room. It can serve as #SelfieGoals for Gold.

Also, Gold isn’t blue.

Somehow, Iridium got homework while over in Egypt or something. She never actually went to school yet so we had no idea she was even supposed to do it. Oops.

And then the bus parked so far away from the house that the game thought Iridium was ‘skipping school’ while running to catch it.

In more positive news, Tantalum got a promotion, so we’re moving on up and getting closer to those generation goals.

And Erin is causing havoc since she became a werewolf after giving birth.

I… don’t actually know if Gold is a werewolf or not. I guess we’ll see.

Erin went off on a hunt by herself and I was extremely confused to read ‘Carbide’ after Tungsten rather than ‘Mendeleev.’

… actually we haven’t seen Tungsten in a while. I’m pretty sure he got invited to the wedding but I don’t remember him actually being interesting during.

Aaaand Iridium’s in trouble for skipping school.

But she’s not grounded or in time out at least, which is good because I had Plans.

Tantalum had an opportunity to review the fancy restaurant in town. Which he can’t actually do unless he eats alone, but we’re rich enough that he can just get two dinners. Also a lot of people in the family were tired and I wanted them in the Motive Mobile.

Unfortunately, they ate inside. So no pictures. : I

Iridium sat down to do her homework after, though, and she looks very cute in her formalwear.

Then I had a great idea. It’s, like, midnight now in game, so Iridium can’t go anywhere on her own. But she can go and drop off a pile of permission slips if Tantalum goes to the town hall with her.

And town hall is apparently still open, so off we go.

Iridium: Thank you for driving me, even though it’s like two in the morning.

Tantalum: It doesn’t really matter how late it is because sitting in our van for five minutes is like the equivalent of eight hours of sleep.

Iridium: True.

Tantalum: Also I had the option to graduate? And I kind of want to do that.

Iridium: Dad you’re so embarrassing.

Then we had to wait for Tantalum to graduate, and it pulled everyone from the house back out to attend the graduation at two in the morning.

So that was fun.

I then realized that I hadn’t done toddler skills with Platinum. What with a marriage, a death, a trip to Egypt, and the birth of another child, it kind of slipped my mind. So we’re trying now.

Tantalum: I almost taught him to walk before the age transition got triggered.

Platinum: I feel so loved. : I

When going to fix up Platinum’s wardrobe, I discovered that this was something we got when we brought a butler into the family. Sweet!

You may also notice that Lutetium has some new pictures with Ernest.

… also I just discovered that Lutetium has a blog and social media.

I’m a little concerned.

Also a little disappointed that picking the maid outfit gave Tantalum this, and not the dress. He would have rocked the dress. But whatever.

And I’m not giving you a proper picture of Platinum until he showers because he’s very stinky. And then went straight to bed. But I did remember to take pictures, it will just take a bit to get to them.

Meanwhile, Sam is apparently fulfilling skill challenges on his own. He’s doing better than the sims that I’m actually paying attention to. This is not okay.

Lutetium: Want to hear me brag about my grandchildren?

Tantalum: I mean, I’d love to, seeing as all of your grandchildren are also my children. But none of the people in these pictures are even remotely related to us.

Only one more day before we see if Gold has pink hair or hair that is… still kind of pinkish but in a more purple-y way.

Huh.

Iridium is up early to finish her homework, and also ambush the schoolbus. Today, I will send her out to where the bus spawned a bit early, so she can get on before the game thinks that she’s skipping school. It’s the perfect plan.

Iridium: Yeah, if this ghost stops trying to distract me from my algebra. : I

Chloe: This child disgusts me!

Iridium: You’re officially my least favorite grandma.

That explain the random juice box full of blood that’s been sitting on the floor.

Aaaand now the bus decides to park close to the house.

Iridium: Well, I already came this far, I’m not walking all the way back there.

Do you really want to be caught ‘skipping school,’ again, Iridium?

Iridium: What? It won’t take me that long; I’ll get to school before the bus does!

And she proceeded to do just that.

She’ll be in good shape to start exploring tombs, that’s for sure.

Speaking of exploring tombs, that was apparently the field trip today.

Platinum: Um… this is kind of more my sister’s thing. o_o

We threw a tiny birthday party for Gold when the kids got back from school. Hopefully I’ll remember about toddler skills this time.

Gold does not inherit Erin’s (dyed) pink hair, and instead gets the Imaginary Friend spiceberry-and-black look. I approve of the pointy ears.

ShawarmaQuest 2017

So the last time I played, the game was kind enough to pick the perfect time to suggest that Tantalum go to Egypt. Iridium needs cheering up, Tantalum needs to bond with his daughter, and Iridium wants to go travelling. Bingo bongo!

Hopefully we won’t break anything.

Iridium is still sad about the grandmother she actually never met.

Or maybe she’s sad that I kept the plumbbob in the shot when I clearly could have switched control over to Tantalum to very easily get it out of the way. I know I am.

Because that worked so well the last time, right Tantalum?

And we don’t need a new butler anyway because Ernest has level 10 in the relevant skills and nothing else to do with his life.

I mean I could conceivably check out what his LTW is, but I got bigger fish to fry.

Tantalum: I’m off to pick up a camera! Keep out of trouble.

I had a very nice shot all lined up and then the bush materialized when I went into camera mode. : /

As a child, Iridium actually can’t do much in Egypt, but she can go visit a graveyard if she so chooses. And meet some new people.

Iridium: So are you gonna go grave robbing?

Explorer: Um… when they’ve been dead long enough we call it anthropology. Makes us feel better about digging up graves. But also no. It’s dark and scary down there.

Iridium: ‘kay. I’m gonna go check it out.

She can’t break through any rubble or look for hidden doors, but she can sit in a room full of sarcophagi and sing to them.

Also did you know that the word sarcophagus comes from a word for an Ancient Greek word for limestone, which would ‘eat’ the flesh dead bodies. Sarc- ophagus.

Iridium: All the dead bodies here remind me of my grandma’s dead body. ;_;

She’s in an urn, so it’s more like ashes than a body, but you’re right. Let’s get you out of here.

He tried to comfort her but Egypt seems to not want me having good pictures in my legacy.

Tantalum: I hope at least that my picture turns out alright.

Iridium: Are we gonna go inside?

Tantalum: Oh, heavens no.

Iridium: : I

Tantalum: Now that I’m done taking a photograph, what do you want to do tonight? And also the rest of our vacation time.

Iridium: Rob graves.

Tantalum: Did I hear ‘camping’? Camping it is.

Camping!

Actually mostly indistinguishable from Egypt’s base camp, but there’s fewer people here, at least.

Tantalum: … and those are the venomous snakes of Egypt. Some of which may be lurking around this campsite as we speak.

Iridium: That is the scariest story I’ve heard so far. o_o

It is the only scary story she’s heard in her life.

Tantalum: And here’s a gift.

Iridium: Wow! It almost makes me forget about my dead grandmother.

I can’t wait to get my hands on a moodlet manager.

Okay, party’s over. The paparazzi just showed up. : I

Tantalum: Seriously???

This guy isn’t paparazzi. He’s just here to camp.

Realized that Iridium can collect gemstones. That’s almost like being an adventurer.

Iridium: I want shawarma.

I’m inclined to fulfill Iridium’s travel-related wishes, since she can’t really do much right now. So off to the market.

… where Iridium can’t actually buy something.

Iridium: Just because I’m a kid! This is discrimination.

So… time to get Tantalum to buy shawarma for her.

Hehe.

Cracking open a cold one with the boys.

Iridium: You got me shawarma?

Tantalum: They didn’t have any. But I got a dessert pizza.

Iridium: … oh.

So we bought a book on how to make shawarma.

Iridium: It’s erally okay, dad. Butler Grandpa can make it for me when we get home.

Tantalum: I promised you shawarma and I’m getting you shawarma.

Then back to base camp to do some cooking.

… or not.

Forgot that there was no stove at base camp. And I can’t even use ‘buy on this lot’ to cheatingly put one in; no stoves appear in the catalog!

Tantalum: Not now, quest board. The only quest I care about is my quest to feed my daughter delicious shawarma.

I figure that someone’s house is the best bet for finding a stove.

Tantalum: Hello. My daughter is mourning the death of her grandmother. Can I use your stove to cook her something that will make her feel better?

Guy with a stove: Sure, but you have to be good enough friends with me or I’ll get upset at you being rude.

… she absolutely does not, dude.

Why you lie to us?

So Iridium amuses herself while her dad makes friends. And shawarma.

And the family did get mad at him for using the stove, but he didn’t get kicked out so who cares.

Iridium: This is really good, dad! *tongue attempts to burrow through lip to get to shawarma*

And then I realized why neither of them needed to eat or sleep as much as I expected.

But Iridium missed her ride on the motive mobile so she uses a tent.

It’s the last day of vacation, and the Mendeleevs spend the entire day doing this, basically. Tantalum has completed his opportunity, ShawarmaQuest has come to a happy conclusion, and we can’t go on any of the quests until Iridium is at least a teen. So we’ve got some downtime.

Until Iridium decides to eat raw food.

But we only have a crocodile and that’s too ‘strange,’ for Iridium to eat.

Iridium can check for monsters under the tent and it amuses me. Especially because this is our tent, which was just set out. So how would there be a monster hiding under there.

Iridium: Haven’t you ever seen Tremors???

One last hug for the road.

Tantalum: I’ll see you on the other side, sweetie.

Iridium: I’m not gonna be lost to the void, am I?

Tantalum: …

Iridium: Dad?

Tantalum: Just don’t think about it.

It’d be cruel to leave at a cliffhanger like that, so I can say with confidence that everyone has survived the first trip to Egypt, at least. No one’s missing!

Blood, Sweat, Tears, and Other Fluids

I’m going to actually write up a chapter without waiting like a week to do it! Yay!

So the butler, who Ernest Bentley, rather than whatever I chose to call him last chapter (probably Jeeves*) is already better than Bonehilda in that he can take care of the children as well as do the other stuff.

So now we can ignore the housework and the children!

*I’m not going to go back and check. I know how my mind works. It was Jeeves almost definitely.

Sam continues to paint nice pictures, which we steal. This one is very colorful and goes nice in Tantalum’s room.

And how is the new baby, Platinum, you ask?

Erin is already crossing the streams.

Platinum: Sudden desire… to travel?

Erin noooooooooo!!!

Since I still want to give her a chance to get decently far in her career, we’re going to piggyback one last pregnancy onto the maternity leave that never ends.

Tantalum and Erin aren’t in the mood right now, so…

To the theater!

Erin: Um… I don’t know what he thinks he’s doing in there, but I’m out here…

Whatever he did, it worked.

Ernest demonstrates his ability to navigate stairs and toddlers. The trick is to pick up the toddler before using the stairs, rather than using the stairs and expecting them to follow somehow.

I did not foresee the theater sex to result in this.

I honestly forget that the Mendeleevs are celebrities. I look in the family inventory and go ‘wow where did all these hot tubs come from?????’

The theater woohoo did let us get a Motive Mobile, though.

Which is nice because Tantalum has had like 0 sleeps in the past twenty-four hours.

Tantalum: I have taught my daughter how to use the toilet!

She was pretty much trained already. She just needed someone to put her on the bear thing one (1) more time (🕐).

Platinum became a toddler because I have the baby stage set low as heck. It looks like this will be the generation of bluish children with shocking pink hair.

We’ll see if child number three follows this pattern.

Erin: Do I get to go to work after this? : I

Yes.

As the paparazzi has been spreading gossip about Tantalum woohooing in public and digging through trash or whatever, he went to go sue for slander. And decided to bring Iridium along.

Tantalum: The judge might side with me more if I’m holding a cute baby.

At least they didn’t get mad at him for woohooing a supernatural, or I’d have to be all SHE👏🏻IS👏🏻HIS👏🏻WIFE👏🏻!!!

The baby defense worked!

To recap, things to remember in court: wear blue, don’t volunteer information, hold a baby at all times.

Meanwhile, Erin is learning social networking. Hopefully this means that the desire to blog is permeating out from this baby. Or the desire to blog will transfer from Erin into the baby. Either way, this can only be a good thing.

Tantalum got the ‘pocket lint of the rich and famous’ title when he went to write a new article, so we had to improvise. : P

And speaking of marriage, I decided to go ahead and have Lutetium marry Ernest. She’s known him for, like, a day, and I’ve heard that long engagements increase temptation. Or something. We can’t risk waiting any longer.

Mostly, though, I want to officially move Ernest in so we’ll have seven people in the household, because I have a strict chart saying how many children should be in each generation in order for the legacy to end at the same time as my list of names.

… I liked him better as a butler.

But oh well.

Also, butlers are called butlers because they were in charge of the bottles. Like the wine. And there was a position called ‘pantler’ that was the master of the pantry.

Pantler. Butler. Heh.

I had to click ‘get married’ a lot to get them to finally go out to the wedding arch. I was almost worried that being a butler would make it impossible for Ernest to get married or something. But here we are.

Osmium: *sob* Our mother’s getting married! It’s. So. Beautiful.

Tungsten: Yeah, okay.

… Chloe, you better not starve during this wedding and ruin it.

Was called away from the wedding to be told that Iridium was growing up.

She can wait a bit, so I just told Platinum to stop destroying the furniture and went back to take more photos of the wedding.

But it was already over, and Ernest had decided to get into the hot tub. : /

Oh well.

… are you shitting me, Chloe?

Osmium: Oh. What a shame.

Fiona: MOM???? *sob*

Erin: What’s going on? I heard yelling.

Iridium: Grandma died, but maybe if I close my eyes I won’t be scarred by this tragedy.

Iridium: OH NO CLOSING MY EYES DIDNT WORK!

… Erin, liquid is supposed to come from your eyes when you’re sad. Your eyes.

Erin: I hope no one saw that…

I think it’s safe to say they were distracted.

Lutetium: Really, Chloe? This was supposed to be my day and you have to steal the spotlight?

Ernest: You really should apologize.

Chloe: For dying????

Lutetium: And you’re wearing the same hairstyle as me too? Will the indignities never end?

Would Erin like to go on a date???? What do you think, John?????

What. Do. You. Think.

Tantalum: No one noticed that I had my birthday and still have good hair unlike Hafnium. : (

Osmium: Boo, Erin! This is my mom’s wedding! It’s not about you!!

Fiona: … do any of you even understand that our mother fucking died????

Someone????: I want to eat the corpse.

Chloe was actually part of the family, sort of, so she gets to be inside.

Platinum: *blissfully unaware*

So now that… that… has been taken care of, time to focus on Iridium, who became a child just in time to learn the harsh realities of life.

Also she has just the slightest case of bimple pox. It’s not the worst case I’ve seen.

In the process of getting Iridium set up for pictures, which included feeding her hungry little tummy, I discovered that the wedding hadn’t actually worked. Because Lutetium couldn’t cut the cake. So round two.

They’re married now. Finally.

Ignore the UI stuff. Iridium’s room got a makeover. : P

Side two. Boat bed!

Iridium got too hungry and turned into a werewolf. Which apparently changes her eye color.

But we’ll get some human pictures of her later.

The guests feel good about the wedding.

The ones who survived, at least.

Tried to get a nice picture of Iridium, but she was busy

  1. crying over the death of her grandmother
  2. groaning about breaking the toilet
  3. getting excited about using the big potty for the first time

Tantalum: So… I just got an opportunity to go to Egypt and take a picture of the Sphinx. I thought I should take it? I can take Iridium along. I’d love to have a chance to spend more time with her, and she really seems interested in travelling. Might have something to do with filling her nursery with travel-related decorations when she was a baby.

Erin: Tantalum, you don’t even know how to work a camera. We don’t even have a camera. Should you really be dropping everything just to go to Egypt?

Tantalum: Well, they never said it had to be a good photo, and I can get a camera there. Mostly I want to help Iri get over… last night. And spend time with her. She’s best friends with my dad and he doesn’t even go here.

Erin: If you want to go, I can’t stop you. Just take some precautions so if you come back to an empty house you can time travel back to a time when we all still existed.

Tantalum: Well that’s just common sense.

Tantalum: And you’ll be okay here?

Erin: We’ll be fine. Ernest is here so it shouldn’t be hard to keep on top of the housework and taking care of Platinum especially because you don’t help out with that stuff anyway.

Tantalum: I mean… last night.

Erin: Oh. Yeah. I barely had a relationship with my mom anyway.

Tantalum: That’s precisely what I’m trying to avoid with Iridium.