Glitch the System!

I thought this was going to be a short chapter because Iridium had two days until her birthday. But I take a lot of pictures so it’s longer than expected.

Latonya: Hey did you know I’m your aunt now? And also the mother of your girlfriend apparently? Pretty wacky, right?

Iridium: … I’m literally on my way to school right now…

And then Erin came to yell at her for skipping school. Starting things off on the right foot.

Then Erin had a vaccination clinic.

Dude: OMG can I has autograph?

Erin: Um… I’m kind of working right now…

Pigtails: Ugh, she keeps being stopped for photos and shit and I can’t even accurately complain about how long I’ve been here ’cause I forgot my watch.

… wait a second.

Dedrick! It’s Dedrick, the guy who used to hang out around the teens, especially when Iridium was trying to spend some time with her girlfriend. Looks like he wasn’t eaten by Sheree or anything weird like that.

Still no word about what happened to the little blonde girl but also I don’t remember her name.

Erin: I have HAD it, mister!

Gold: Okay, give me a time out.

Erin: No, that’s not going to teach you anything. I’m going to take something away from you that you care about, so you’ll really think about what you’ve done.

Gold: 😦

Erin: No foosball.

Gold: … I’ve never touched that thing in my life so okay.

Geez, what’s got her so upset?

… that would do it.

Tantalum is still working hard. Because I make him work hard. He works hard to not work hard whenever I’m not looking.

He’s currently writing a horror novel entitled “Household With Three Teenagers.”

I don’t know why Platinum is just napping, but also it’s 8 PM.

I had him invite over his boyfriend–who has a name which is Aziz–and then actually go to bed.


Tantalum: What.

I found you. Go write. And also get another charisma skill point.

We’ve been really lax with cleaning up all the dead plants. : /

Erin: … can’t you just delete everything since we’re not doing anything with the garden now?

… oh. That would make way more sense.

Erin: Also I need a leg doctor immediately.

We’ve also been lax with the dish-washing recently. But deleting the entire kitchen isn’t really an option.

Have encountered a glitch that I think is related to the free vacation? The game thinks Erin is off in some other town so she can’t fulfill the spleen(?) donation opportunity.

Erin: Oh thank fuck.

Gold: Okay, but think about it. Restaurants are for eating. Hospitals are for sick people. Libraries are for reading. You don’t mix and match things. So if learning is supposed to be done at school, why are they sending learning stuff home? Home is for goofing off and stuff, not learning. I say we boycott homework.

Platinum: Please leave me out of this.

Gold: Okay, but when I post this on my blog and start a revolution you’re gonna regret not listening to me.

Erin attempts to stage an intervention.

Erin: Gold, sweetie, I know you’re very involved in the little people on your phone, or whatever it is you do, but maybe there are other things you could be interested in? Like the television. You could watch that workout show with your sister.

Erin: Or if you don’t want to give up using your phone, I heard of this Tinder app that lets you meet new people and then… something about gardening?

Gold: Mom I’m fourteen.

And then Erin had to chew out Platinum for something I guess.

Gold: Hold on I gotta make a blog post about this.

Erin: … wow. You’re using our family drama to entertain strangers on the internet?

Yeah, Gold. How low can you get.


I didn’t see any pop-ups and couldn’t find him waiting outside the house, either, so I figured that we’d invited him over too late and that he was coming the next day. :I

I felt bad about abandoning Platinum’s boyfriend moreso than we have already so I wasn’t that into Ernest’s birthday, but it happened and then Erin took some experimental drugs.

Oh, cool, did it make it so she’ll learn skills faster or something?

OH, you meant literally–

Erin: Yes. Yes I did.

… probably should have waited to delete those sprinklers. Whoops.


Ernest: Hold on, hold on. I had to go get changed because my original outfit was too hideous to be shown on the internet.

And after Erin was extinguished he went to go fix the broken sink, because this household would fall apart without him. I went soft and let Erin pursue her hopes and dreams so Ernest is the only one around to fix things and do the laundry.

Iridium: Hey, Platinum, I was gonna shower. What are you doing in here?

… not gonna comment.

Aziz flew over from Egypt for the second time in two days and immediately hit on his boyfriend’s mom. Which, rude, but it also means he’s a grown up now.

They can only do friendly hugs now.

Riley: Hey, I made friends with the paperboy. He’s only allowed to exist for an hour each morning, which we bonded over ’cause I’m not supposed to exist at all?

Riley: Also your boyfriend is too old for you now, you loser!

We were supposed to be getting ready for Iridium’s birthday but I guess it’s this glitch-girl’s birthday?

Aziz: I am… very concerned. Who is this girl? Why do you laugh at her? Why does an orb float a few inches over her head?



Platinum: … wow I’m having indecent thoughts right now.

Went inside to check up on the party preparation and came back to find that Aziz and Platinum broke up? Which is… probably for the better.

Aziz: I’m going to go get a drink. Which I can legally do as an adult.


Platinum: Actually… you’re kind of cute. Want to go out and possibly bring destroy the world?

Riley: More than anything.

Riley: Except you can’t choose any romantic interaction with me.

Platinum: Can I ask you to get me a snack?

Riley: Yeah but I’ll kick you in the balls if you do.


The birthday party began and it wasn’t on a full moon, for once. No zombies to be had.

… oh shoot. Maybe that’s what happened to the little blonde kid. Rest in peace blonde kid, devoured by zombies.

Fiona: I brought imaginary food for the party, but I think it got cold on the way here.

Tungsten: Maybe you can heat it up over the bonfire.

Fiona: 😮 Good idea!

I thought for a moment that Latonya also brought imaginary food, but she brought floor calzones. A little less sanitary but a lot more filling.

Hafnium: Hooray! That’s my niece!

Iridium: At least my extended family is here to watch me become an adult.

Sheree: Yay, Mr. Mendeleev!

… not who you’re supposed to be cheering for.

Fiona: I’m excited for my niece but also desperately need a chiropractor.

Iridium grew up but you don’t get to see her until the next chapter. To keep things fair or something like that.

… um. Game.

Game. Riley’s right there. But okay. Let’s see what happens when we put the toy down while the glitched IF is hanging around.

Absolutely nothing, apparently?

Let’s not think about this too deeply.

The first candidate for our Gen 3 Heir is Iridium Mendeleev, an adventurous, brave, excitable, and athletic werewolf. Her goal is to become a world-renowned adventurer and also loot a ton of graves. She’s dating Sheree Kolb, who is somehow her aunt’s daughter (not blood related, at least) and possibly a cryptid who killed the little blonde girl from ages ago.

Platinum Mendeleev is inappropriate, irresistible, perceptive, and friendly. He wants to be a heartbreaker and basically has to date a bunch of people to fulfill his generation goals. He was dating Aziz Moussa, and is now possibly looking into dating his glitchy imaginary friend. But his whole thing is dating a lot of people so he could end up with anyone. Maybe things will come full circle and he ends up with Aziz again. Who knows.

Gold Mendeleev is absent-minded, friendly, a computer whiz, and a couch potato. He wants to become a famous blogger, and has a blog called ‘The Gold Standard’ which has a whopping 28 followers. Thinks he’s revolutionary but he’s not. He’s not dating anyone yet and unfortunately he can’t use a dating app because Seasons makes my computer cry. He’s very pretty tho. (I actually haven’t done much with the blogging thing so as long as there’s space in the house I’ll probably keep him around even if he doesn’t win.)


A Twisted Tree

School’s starting and I’m not even going to say anything about having less time to play because every time I say ‘I’m going to have less time to play’ I feel like I end up playing sims more.

I hope if any of you are in the path of Irma or any other hurricanes that you stay safe and maybe I guess feel cheered up by reading about my sims being weirdos or something.

And how can we mention sims being weirdos without mentioning the Mendeleevs’ nightly 2 AM visitor? My theory is that whatever code dictating ‘paparazzi’ behaviors cuts out at about that time, and then the game has no idea what Latonya is doing on our porch so, hey, must be visiting!

Ernest got the plumber skill so I should probably get nicer toilets for him to fix or we’ll be stuck with bargain johns forever.

And then, you know, remember not to sell the magical unbreakable toilets when I redo the house.

… I hate this interaction so much.

Why is this autonomous.

I’m not having it right now, so Tantalum’s going to have to do penance for being a dick to his wife.

I make him write a book all about what a doody butt he is. And he’s a highly-skilled and famous writer at this point in his career so everybody is going to see it.

Serves him write.

Platinum: Dude, why’s Ernest eating hot dogs at seven in the morning? It’s time for breakfast food. Like waffles.

Ernest: Food doesn’t necessarily need to be eaten at any particular time…

Platinum: Mom, you agree with me, right?

Erin: I… don’t eat with your mouth full.

Platinum: Gold??

Gold: Can you shut the fuck up about waffles? I’m watching my show.

Iridium goes out to the bonfire and apparently Latonya’s been waiting in front of the house all night. Alone.

… and now I feel bad for the paparazzi. Great.

Erin had an opportunity involving having someone over for a party. For some reason. I don’t read these things half the time. But she was able to finish off the opportunity before the party even started, so she’s off to cameo in a play or something.

I don’t know what the heck is up with Cara and Enya but they need to get their shit together.

Since we were having a party, though, all the Mendeleevs were invited over. Along with the rabble.

Apparently Tungsten and Tantalum haven’t seen each other in so long that we had to start with a friendly introduction before anything else.


And then Platinum got stuck in the fridge.

Cara: Yeah, Erin threw this party just for me! I wonder where she is; I want to thank her…

Platinum: Please help.

He was stuck until a sim with a chisel permanently affixed to their hand came to break him free.

Iridium beelined to the tri-tip steak someone brought.

Iridium: You know, considering that Ernest has a level ten in cooking, we pretty much just eat bullshit usually. :/

… yeah. Huh.

Tantalum: … I suddenly feel the need to point out that the one guy who crashed the party is actually kind of hot?

Tungsten: I had no idea you swung that way but I accept you.

Guy Tantalum Maybe Has a Crush On?: Smile!

Iridium: *pose* 🙂

GTMHACO?: Oh, I was taking a picture of Platinum. Don’t worry, I can crop you out.

Iridium: … I’m so not introducing you to my dad. :/

Platinum is very popular.

Platinum: What’s up, kid?

Gold: I had to wait in line to talk to my own brother. :/

Platinum: Um… sorry about that. It’s like midnight, though, so you should go to bed. Especially ‘cuz your birthday’s tomorrow, so, like… you need your energy to grow into a beautiful butterfly!

Iridium: Or just go to the spa. That’s when I feel beautiful.


Iridium: *smacks him into oblivion*

Ah. Siblings.

The party was ‘verging on epic,’ which is impressive given that I basically ignored everyone. And also the hostess barely showed.

Now the time for play has ended, and it’s time for work. Or bringing things you already worked on to the bookshop for an opportunity. Whichever.

This seems… like it’s not supposed to say that.

I feel like shitty stuff only happens when my sims are in the medical career. This is a new level of screwing up, though.

Tantalum didn’t get a chance to interview Tungsten last night, so we invited him to the art museum to get that done. Tantalum needs to write more stories because articles don’t count maybe? I’m not entirely sure how this works but the face was frowny and that means BAD.

Tantalum: Getting the obvious out of the way… you’re old now???

Tungsten: Yeah that happens.

While they’re catching up, what the heck is this art exhibit???

At least Tantalum finishes his interview (and promoting some restaurant) in time to get home for Gold’s birthday!

Gold: Did I pick a good place to grow up??

You were… you were just standing in the middle of a brightly-lit room. Open for picture-taking from all angles. What happened.

Gold: This is better.

He grew up cute so I forgive him. I actually have no idea how the social networking skill works so I gave him ‘computer whiz,’ which seemed like a good choice?

I also have no idea how bloggers dress. So he just has, like… clothes.

Immediately afterwards, Erin gets this horrific opportunity.

Erin: I knocked out an entire team of surgeons so now I kind of have to…

I took it because I’m curious to see if she’ll get it again. And also money.

Erin: I missed your birthday since I was on-call but I’m going to assume the strange teenager in my living room is Gold.

Gold: Platinum was right, waffles are the ideal morning food.

Then the adults went on a free vacation.

I thought it was funny that ‘purchase additional home’ was an option available to the teenagers while their parents were out.

“Hi mom and dad, picked up a little surprise while you were away!”

Remind me to add the ‘snob’ trait when Gold becomes YA.

Anyway he got his blog.

Iridium threw a teen party and then invited only her girlfriend. Not for any sweet mushy reason. Just because she’s literally the only teen anyone knows.

So hopefully the police don’t show up.

Platinum: Yeah, ‘cuz then they might see that I broke into the booze stash.

Sent Gold down to take a picture for his blog and we discovered that Sheree is almost impossible to to capture on film. Like… that’s not a couch, game. :/

Cryptid status confirmed.

Speaking of cryptids, ghost mummy sighted! Hi Sam.

After finally going online to see how to even do the blogging thing, I found that having a high writing skill helps with getting more followers.

Which can’t be true to real life or else why is anyone reading this blog? 😛

While Gold was skilling up, Iridium and Platinum were practice fighting.

Iridium: I let you win. :/

Platinum: Yeah, right!

Iridium: Dude, I have five athletics skill and you have zero.

Gold goes to Sheree’s house after school. That’s all anyone ever does; I haven’t seen anyone going to anyone else’s house in forever. Is she the only other teen in town? What happened to the other guy who used to come around to the house? What about the little blonde girl who came over to the slumber party? She’s got to have grown up by now, right?

We didn’t get any answers because Sheree spontaneously became a zombie.

Gold: That’s my cue to leave.

The adults had come home by then, though, and Gold got in trouble for being late for school the one day.

So obviously he had to stand outside amid the attacking zombies.

He survived though.

Latonya also survived, somehow, using her quick paparazzi wits.

Latonya: Oh, Gold! I’ve been reading your blog. So nice to see I’m not the only one who knows we’re trapped in a computer simulation!

Gold: Oh, um… nice to meet a fan. I’m flattered.

Latonya: Well, of course I’m a fan! What kind of aunt would I be if I didn’t read my nephew’s little blog?

Gold: Wait what.

Wait WHAT.

After a little digging I find that:

1) Latonya is actually Sheree’s mom. The woman who lives in Sheree’s house with Sheree is apparently not related to her at all.

2) Latonya is dating Tungsten, which is why the game registers her as the kids’ aunt now.


3) Hafnium is dating his brother’s wife’s sister.

I’ve been informed by an outside source that this is ‘homestuck levels of fucked,’ so I’m going to leave you guys here because I need to go try and wrap my brain around this and maybe draw up a chart of sometime.

In the Name of the Moon!

Henlo readers.

I’ve been watching Sailor Moon.

I was very nervous because Erin’s picture wasn’t loading when we got back into town, but she still exists so I guess we’re alright? I hope? She had another vaccination clinic so that was cool.

I wish I could just go to the park and get free vaccinations.

Also five of the people who got vaccinated wanted to get with Erin. Like they can’t even wait until she’s not working to hit on her? Ugh.

… and we got this notification after I was through clicking through like four or five ‘ugh, I’m not waiting this long to get a shot I’m leaving’ messages. So I don’t think we did all that great a job?

But if the hospital thinks it was awesome I’m not gonna complain.

Tantalum is not so interesting because he mainly just has to do good in work and also get his writing skill up. He needs charisma for reporting but I don’t really like skilling for charisma. So.

This is an item that comes with the game so it’s 100% not cheating for reals. And I’m at least not doing my normal thing, which would be to fill the lawn with like ten of these things so I don’t have to wait for the cooldown period.

Platinum: Hey, Gold! How was your day?

Gold: Didn’t you go home with that Dedrick guy? Why are you here.

Platinum: Dedrick invited me over so he could profess his undying love to me, but I have a boyfriend in Egypt so it was… awkward.

I think Gold is pissed off that he can’t start a blog until he turns thirteen.

I accidentally agreed to have Tantalum go on a date with some random person. But at least Rhenium is here and also possibly potions?

Rhenium: So… Mom kind of died so that I could live… kind of funny, in a way… life is enigmatic, like a jellyfish…

Tantalum: You really need to stop drinking the shit you’re trying to sell because we don’t have any more death flowers to give you. : I

Tantalum: Ohhhh… Rosalinda. I thought I was going out with my brother’s ex at first. But weren’t you just saying that you were into my wife earlier today?

Rosalinda: I thought maybe we could discuss the possibility of an arrangement.

Tantalum: Well, polyamory can be a healthy and fulfilling relationship choice, but the media already gets on my case about sleeping with one werewolf, to whom I am married…

Rosalinda: Eh, it was worth a shot.

Tantalum: While you’re here, mind letting me promote a restaurant? I’ve had this opportunity for ages.

Latonya (probably?): Do you think it would work out with me? I’m not a supernatural.

Tantalum: I’m just going to promote this restaurant to you and leave. :I

I’m at a loss for where to put all of Iridium’s Sweet Loot right now. Should probably at least sell the ingots since they’re not even, like, an impressive metal?

But it’s prom night so no one cares about interior decorating and/or the price of copper.

Sheree: Ready? 🙂

Iridium: Yeah, I just gotta do homework first.

Iridium no.

Iridium: Okay, you’re right. My girlfriend is super cute! She has a super cute dress on! We’re going to be super cute together… right after I work on that algebra problem.

I had to force her to go to prom.

Sheree was already in the limo by the time Iri got the memo so unfortunately no picture with them together. 😦

Gotta go check on Platinum and make sure he’s heading towards school. Last I checked he was in Sheree’s house, oddly enough.

… okay, this time it’s not my fault.

Sheree: … my girlfriend just jumped out of the limo. o_o

… she’ll meet you there.

Platinum’s the Prom King!

… and Iridium is the Queen.


Iridium: This crown is cheap-ass plastic. I could find a way better one on my own.

Aw. The ship name is Shereedium. Platinum would also have a ship name but I forget which guy he actually ended up dating. And the nature of his generation means that they wouldn’t ‘end up’ together anyway. Not on a permanent basis. Whoops.

Someone else must have been wearing casual clothes to prom, ’cause that’s what Platinum was wearing.

… omigod that poor kid never had a chance.

Also this old guy who was creeping around outside of prom never had a chance. RIP in peace, dude.

Prom lets out just in time for all the teens to be traumatized.

Iridium: Oh no! That poor man is DYING!

Platinum: … what was he doing outside the high school, anyway?

Sheree: Hey, I remember you. Are you gonna gank that paparazzi lady next?

Probably Latonya: 😦

And then Death stuck around. For a very, very long time.

So I watched him.

Where you going?

Death: Iᴛ’s ᴍʏ ʟᴜɴᴄʜ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋ, ᴀɴᴅ I ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴇᴀᴛ, sᴏ…

Time for a little light reading.

Death: I’ʟʟ ʙᴇᴛ ʏᴏᴜ’ʀᴇ ᴀɴxɪᴏᴜs ᴛᴏ sᴇᴇ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪᴛ ᴇɴᴅs.


Ernest: So how was prom night?

Platinum: It was great! I won Prom King.

Iridium: I wond Prom Queen.

Platinum: We watched a dude die.

Iridium: And the full moon makes our voices super deep which is cool.

Gold also enjoyed the full moon, apparently.

It’s one in the morning and the zombies are out, but it’s not a school night so what can you do.

Iridium: All that prom stuff really distracted me from my homework. :I

You and your homework!

We got prom pictures back and Iridium’s prom picture wins. She won at prom. No one else needs to take prom pictures.

After homework, it’s time to practice werewolf battles.

I forgot that we had that gnome.

Iridium: That’s what you get! I’ve been training to take down mummies with my bare hands!

Platinum: I’m a lover not a fighter. 😦

Nearly synchronized howling, right down to fucking up and coughing at the end.

And so another full moon sets, life goes back to normal, and–

I think a ghost broke our computer!

They weren’t even a family ghost. I might just have to send the paparazzi and zombie ghosts away if they’re gonna pull this crap.

Gold: Mom, no! Bad! Stop that!

Erin: I’m your mother.

Gold: You’re ruining our furniture, is what you are!

Human!Erin then got an opportunity that amounted to settling an argument and ‘she said, she said,’ between two sims in the same household.

Their whole house is a mess, though, look at this playroom.

The walls don’t even match.

I Am Forgetful

Me: I’m going to take pictures sparingly while traveling because it essentially can add entire weeks to a sim’s lifespan and if we do the travel generation it’s gonna be loooong.

Also me: This entire chapter.

Erin: Wow… you’re not even touching it, you know that, right?

Platinum: Moommmmmmm.

Erin’s actually very excited about her werewolf kids though. Wants to start a pack and all that. Terrorize the town.

Janae: Ugh, Erin Mendeleev, gross!

Erin: I was thinking about my family and you ruined it. 😡

She’s out vaccinating the population against rabies or kennel cough or something.

Purple hair girl: Hey, I was in line first! No cutting!

I agree, that was very rude.

Did the Eartha move for you, too?

We’re already scheduled to go to Egypt, game, calm down.

Erin’s sister who is a vampire came to the park, too, and also Hafnium, but the vaccination clinic was done already. We have some time to chat, though. I decided to wait for Platinum’s birthday so he can get a datemate in Egypt or something.

Hafnium is not amused with Erin trying to turn him into a creature of the night.

In other news. We had cherries here the whole time. Not that they would have completed the garden by themselves.

Hap borth Platinum.

He’s irresistible.

Like, officially.

In other news, I named Tantalum’s latest article SKREEM because I was under the impression that he had to write 15 articles, and this was the 15th. But the actual thing is 10 articles, and I just misremembered, so he’d completed that objective already.

One of our objectives was also partnering in a business, apparently, and I did that too without knowing that it was something that we were supposed to do. I think we’re partners with the grocery store?

Also I had to use this pattern for Platinum because. When else can I use it.

Whoops got two collection helpers.

This chapter is like. Airing out all the times I screw up.

Then we went to Egypt and I forgot to take an establishing shot.

Iridium: Robbing graves for a corporation that is morally-questionable at best? Sounds legit.

But what corporations aren’t morally-questionable at best?

Iridium got her LTW. They grow up so fast. :’)

… Gold you will get shawarma when you go home and your father cooks it for you. We’re not doing this again.

Gold can’t actually get a blog yet so he’s spending his vacation streaming videos, which I think builds skill. It also builds our phone bill because of roaming charges.

Iridium: *runs directly into a bush because ADVENTURE*

Erin: So what are you going to do while your sister is exploring ancient tombs, Platinum?

Platinum: I graduated on honor roll, mom; I figured I had time to relax. :/

Iridium: Wow, a dead person. So scary. Not like we don’t have tons of dead people at home. :I

Magic switches, secret walls. All in a day’s work. Time to return a relic to a guy because this was the tutorial tomb and I didn’t feel like taking pictures of something I’ve done like a hundred times. : P

… and it’s a full moon.

Mahmoud: I told you, Ali! These legacy sims are too dramatic! This one is becoming a wolf!

Iridium accidentally made her Morcucorp contact faint. : P

And then Platinum… followed Ali… into an empty shell of a house?? For some reason??? I’m confused but the lighting is shit here so I wasn’t going to stick around to ask questions.

Lighting is shit everywhere on a full moon though.

Iridium: I’m… supposed to contact you? Why do you smell strongly of alcohol? I don’t need my superior wolf nose to know that this isn’t very professional.

Nabila/Dunya/Layla: Yeah, I’m extremely drunk. But you can’t see my face with this shitty lighting so how are you gonna tattle on me?

I think this might have been the guy whose home we invaded for shawarma.

You can tell this is the next day because Iridium has less fur.

Iridium: What’s your opinion on Morcucorp.

Platinum had his first kiss in the bathroom and got a boyfriend. And then I checked out the generation rules for heartbreaker or whatever it’s called and it’s only necessary to have, like, two different significant others. And if Platinum takes the ‘be boyfriend of 10 different sims’ thing I think it only starts counting once he actually gets the LTW? So he just has a boyfriend in Egypt that we’re not gonna break up with yet.

Maybe he’ll come to prom?

Erin is doing piss poor at getting those scarab beetles, in part because I’m pretty sure the number she needed to collect went up when we got here. But she’s enjoying herself anyway.

Geb: Hey, legacy girl, you’re cute. ❤

Iridium: Yup! Cute and taken. I have a girlfriend. Who I love. Please just tell me what you think about Morcucorp.

After finally getting everyone’s opinions on the shady corporation, we go back out to explore more tombs! This isn’t even the part of the pyramid we’re supposed to be exploring right now but it was here!

A mummy!

We just kindof walked slowly away from the mummy.

Iridium: I wonder where this leads!

Back to the entrance where this woman almost gave us a heart attack.

Iridium: … what are you doing here?

Paparazzi: … what are YOU doing here?

Iridium: … nothing.

If I’d just remembered that we needed flamefruit for one of these adventures, we could have been finished already.

Iridium: That’s boring though.

Who the heckie is sending us furniture in Egypt and how are we getting this on the plane?

Gold: I still want shawarma. :I

You will get shawarma if you go to the fridge and grab some food so I can teleport it to your sister’s inventory. She’s starving.

I mean she has flamefruit but those are important quest objects.

If you bring someone with you while adventuring you never have to eat cruddy adventure rations.

As long as you can teleport delicious food between one another.

Paparazzi: I see you survived.

Iridium: I see that you’ve been standing around here for like two days. 😛

Paparazzi: Touché.

… we’ll save this for next time.

And then, with only a couple hours to spare, Erin actually manages to catch the bugs that she needs. There were lke entire days where not one scarab spawned. But here we are.

Tooth and Claw

In our last chapter, both of our founders died, but we’re going to keep on keeping on. Both in the legacy and in the slumber party, which still has guests.

Felisha: *yawn* Gosh, I didn’t sleep a wink after watching that lady die! Although I guess last night was probably worse for you than for me, huh?

Platinum: Why are you still in my house?

Felisha: What horrible table manners.

He can eat however he wants, Felisha. You are pretty rude for insisting that this party is continuing through the tragedy last night. Although I guess she didn’t run off yelling about how much the party sucked. So there’s that.

Given how much of a ghost problem we already had before either of our founders even died, I’m pretty sure Lu will be back.

Oh hey.

Osmium died last night too.

Gold, being a toddler, is blissfully unaware of the concept of mortality, so he’s pretty much the only one who is not sad.

The other person who wasn’t sad was Iridium, because she’s having her birthday after the full moon postponed it. I was literally just about to buy a cake when the game camera zoomed over to her; I’m not used to autonomous aging before like 7 PM.

Forgot for a second that I could choose traits and was actually using that privilege.  Game, no. Not supernatural skeptic. She’s a werewolf wtf.

Our fuzzy explorer, Iridium Mendeleev. Decked out in a lot of bling because what else are you supposed to do with the priceless jewelry you find in long-forgotten tombs, amirite?

I think I gave her the athletic trait.

Erin also had a birthday but she mostly looks the same. Except the game changed her hair but I didn’t feel like changing it back. Maybe later. Maybe never. Probably never.

I’m lazy.

Nobody had had a good night’s sleep at this point and everyone was miserable, including the toddler because no one was feeling good enough to efficiently care for him, so I took the first excuse I could to pile them all in the Motive Mobile.

Party time!

Oh hey, Osmium got better!

Hafnium is also at the party. Good opportunity for getting acquainted with the extended family, kids!

When you’re a ravenous beast of the night but also a good and caring sister.

Platinum: I literally had no say in this because I’m a child and have to do what my parents tell me but ok.

Erin was happy to find another werewolf. I mean, the kids are also werewolves, but she’s not allowed to beat them up.

This is practice fighting.

Erin has a lot of practicing to do.

While we’re here, we find a dragon egg.


Iridium cannot play fight with human Ernest, but the next best thing is pillow fighting.

When we got home from the party, our dragon hatched. Bubbles 2.0. Please don’t glitch out when I redo the house for gen 3.

Iridium is allowed to ride the bus now that she’s a teen, apparently.

Trees are also allowed to ride the bus, apparently.

Having werewolf kids in the house raises… unique issues.

Ernest: Can I tell him to stop? Or is that culturally insensitive or something? How do werewolves work??

I can tell him to stop.

… I was going to say something like ‘geez they should make scratching posts for this game’ but they did and Pets crashes my computer. :/

Iridium invites Sheree over.

Dedrick came on his own.

Sheree: Oh, Iridium! I was right, you did grow up to be super cute!

Iridium: Did you just… have a birthday on the way over here? For the second time in like two days?

Sheree: What I have no idea what you’re talking about let’s go inside.

In my defense I’m allowed to use cheats to fix things when the game is broken and I’m pretty sure this isn’t how aging is supposed to work.

Note to self: Don’t prioritize talking with new friends over eating with werewolf sims. They will transform and make said new friends, and also parental figures, pass out. It is awkward for everyone.

Iridium: My grandma died a couple days ago.

Sheree: Yeah, I was there. It was fucked up.

Dedrick: Can I talk to Iridium?

Sheree: No. : P

After Sheree went home, it was time for play fighting since Iridium is old enough to fight her mother now.

Then Gold had a birthday.

About halfway through doing Gold’s makeover and going ‘how do you even do a ‘social media’ theme in the sims’ it hit me. Cats. So a cat themed room.

I don’t have a ton of cat-themed objects because, as I have said, the Pets expansion hates me, but I did my best.

And here is Gold!

His third trait is probably like friendly or something? Gotta be social to social network.

Lutetium came back!

And proceeded to drink like every quick drink that had been left out. It was a lot. The Mendeleevs as a whole have a problem.

Ernest went to go hug and kiss her or whatever but she wasn’t having it.

Lutetium: Ernest. You’re young, and I’m dead. You should go find a nice, living girl. Or boy. Whatever.

Ernest: Lu, this is a legacy household. I’m not needed to carry on the family name; I’m basically stuck here fixing sinks and doing laundry until I die.

Lutetium: It’s not so bad. Just wait for a nice NPC to walk through the doors and then pounce. That’s how I met you.

Platinum: Grandma, I missed you so mu–

Lutetium: Shh, I’m just here to get my drink on and watch the backlog of game show episodes on the DVR.

Everyone is on the bus!

Maybe because the bus driver is worried that Iridium will eat her if she doesn’t let them get on.

So, some exciting things. First is prom night!

Second is that Erin… why are you digging through the trash?

Erin: I’m not entirely sure why.

…anyway. Erin has an opportunity to go to Egypt, which will possibly let all the kids get a head start on their LTWs? Except for Platinum, since he’s, like, not old enough to go on dates. But he can maybe befriend some grown ups who can be invited over when he’s an adult, as they will have magically stayed the same age? Who knows.

Did I ever tell you all about the time I had this one pregnancy mod? My sim took her teenage daughter to China and we just kind of ignored her while doing tomb stuff and when we came back the teen was pregnant. I was unaware that ‘autonomous risky woohoo’ extended to teenagers. Good times.

Erin: So, I don’t know why my work uniform is completely different between my werewolf and human forms. But that’s not what I came to talk to you about.

Erin: I have a job opportunity or maybe someone random just called me? I wasn’t paying that much attention. But I’m going to Egypt, and if you do well in school I’ll bring you kids along.

Gold: Ugh. School is garbage. And visiting Egypt is probably also garbage, given that it’s really hot there and I’m forced to wear a sweater every day?

Erin: Now, Gold, I know that your goal in life is to run a successful sims legacy blog, which I don’t understand but will respect, but school is still very important, and furthermore–

Iridium: YEET. Finished my homework! Going to Egypt!

Iridium: Got a prom date! Everything’s coming up Iridium!

I was intent on getting Sheree off the dating market before she picked up a different datemate on her second go through high school.

Also they’re girlfriends now.

I can’t find any pregnancy mods that actually work anymore but I swear I’ll make it work out somehow if she’s heir.

Erin: Oh, Iridium, is this your little friend? 😀

Iridium: UGH MOM NO.

Another Moonlit Party

Hey hey another update.

I took a quick peak at Sam’s skills because I was curious about how far he’d gotten in them. He’s almost maxed out on painting? And pretty good with guitar too, although his life bar’s pretty full so I wouldn’t expect him to finish his LTW.

Also: level four of charisma. How does that happen?

Going to try and remember toddler skilling this time around, but we have seven/eight people in our household depending on how you count it and things are hectic balancing needs and skills and homework and all the articles Tantalum has to write.

Ernest: Wow, that having kids things looks great.

It’s not going to happen dude. You’re a generation too late to be adding new blood to the legacy line, our household is full, and your wife is incapable of getting pregnant by the very design of this game. So no.

Erin’s still out of work so she fixes things around the house for me. We should focus on having more money and also possibly a more manageable house size next generation so we can have sinks and things that don’t break so easily.

I mean I could get Ernest to fix them all because he has super high handiness but I don’t want to commit to putting the same unbreakable sinks in every house. They’re ugly.

I get this opportunity and I’m like… Lutetium has never touched a piano in her life???

Except apparently she has. When did this happen.

Platinum has a new friend. We’ll have to invite her over sometime to see her.

None of the kids have noticed that there’s a playground on the side of the house for them. At least Erin’s making use of it.

And Tantalum’s gotten a new writing… acheivement… thing. Whatever the little challenges for each of the skills does. This one makes his articles sell better, but from my personal observations it seems like he writes them faster now too? Who knows.

Teaching Gold to talk.

Gold: Bwiefcase!

Erin: No, Gold. That was Hafnium’s thing.

Ernest is absolutely not doing anything of the sort.

Iridium: Not even if I went?

Absolutely not. I’m saving the adventuring for you, and you’re much too tiny and flammable to…

Actually I’m pretty sure sims kids are immune to stuff like burning to death?

If you give an article a name that’s already been used, it just suggests adding ‘2’ to the end. We’re going for it.

This one I named myself.

Latonya: Woo! I’m here to party!

It’s three in the morning.

Lutetium and Ernest are oddly in love for having known each other like two hours before getting engaged. It’s sweet. But also, it’s three in the morning. Sleep time.

Latonya no.

Moving on to people who sleep at appropriate hours. The bus has gone back to parking so far from the house that the game considers Iridium to be ‘skipping school’ before she can get on.

I think the bus driver just has it out for her?

Iridium’s just going to ride her bike to school from now on, I think. Until she learns to drive, at least. Apparently, the game doesn’t care how late you actually get to school, as long as it thinks that you’re on your way there.

Ernest no.

“Give Rhenium Mendeleev a Death Flower before time runs out.”

I am very concerned.

But before I send Lutetium out to apparently save her son’s life, Erin’s back from her first day at work. It was rough, apparently.

She just turned on the television that’s in a completely different room. You can’t even watch it from where she’s standing. It was that rough.

Eric: Wanna talk about it? Over dinner? 😉

Not that rough, Eric. : /

I’ll admit that I don’t really read print news, but I’m pretty sure newspapers don’t run articles that are seventy-five pages long?

I was going to have a goof about Lutetium walking into the potion shop and acting like it was Rhenium’s house, but he’s the shopkeeper here so actually for all intents and purposes this is basically where he lives.

Lutetium: Seriously, Rhenium, what did you do???

Rhenium: I may have tried to make my own elixirs? They… didn’t come out right.

Lutetium: You just mixed a bunch of plants together and drank it?

Rhenium: Yeah. The doctor says I have like an hour left to live.

Lutetium: Well are you still on the clock?

Rhenium: I’m always on the clock. : I

Neither nor rain nor impending death shall stop the consignment specialist.

Lutetium: … I have an idea.

Lutetium: Think fast!

So… if mummies are dead, does this count as murder? Discuss in comments.

Sweet bandage wrapped need bars. I feel like I’ve had a mummy in a household before but I don’t remember.

We got a painting mummy now. I wonder if being a mummy extends his lifespan or whatever.

Fly: I don’t know about that but living in this this filth isn’t doing him any favors!

Platinum wants a sleepover. And also has maybe developed bimple pox, since I don’t remember him having it before.

That is a pretty bad case, too.

Iridium: Gold is trying to starve me to death. :/

Note to self, nursery on the first floor in the next house.

Iridium was drinking from a blood pack earlier and got sick. Now she’s eating brains. The child is confused about what kind of supernatural being she is.

You know you don’t have elementary school anymore, right? You’re slated to become a teen tonight.

So then Platinum’s slumber party will be kind of a birthday party? Maybe?

No one invited glitchy imaginary friends, though! Go home!

No I said go home.

The teenager in the chair is Sheree, who must have had a birthday recently too. Maybe Iridium can get a head start on having friends in high school.

Iridium: HiI’malmostateenandyou’repretty!

Erin: Tungsten? Yeah, I’m not really into cheating on my partner with his brother? You’re probably thinking of Hafnium’s ex girlfriend. :/

Whoops, forgot it was a full moon.

‘Iridium is starting to freak out with terror!’

Erin: You’re a werewolf, too, Iridium.

Iridium: Yeah but I’ve kind of been experimenting lately.

Aaaand Sheree is a zombie.

That’s what I get for hosting a party on the full moon. Should really pay more attention to that. In my defense, though, I’ve never seen full moon zombies convert other sims until starting this save file. Not even in other people’s games.

Platinum keeps his other party guest inside, safe from the zombies. Although I think young children are probably immune.

Platinum: Do you want to get tickets to see a movie sometime?

Felisha: Only if you pay for it and only if it’s not the emoji movie.

I guess being undead doesn’t actually keep you from dying.

Death: Sᴇʀɪᴏᴜsʟʏ? Tʜᴇ ғɪʀsᴛ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟ Mᴇɴᴅᴇʟᴇᴇᴠ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴀɴᴅ ɪᴛ’s ɴᴏᴛ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɪɴ ʜᴏᴜsᴇʜᴏʟᴅ? I ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ɢᴏᴛ ʀɪᴘᴘᴇᴅ ᴏғғ ᴇᴀʀʟɪᴇʀ ᴛᴏɴɪɢʜᴛ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴋɪᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ғʟᴏᴡᴇʀ.

Lutetium: Don’t worry, Death, I got you covered.

Lutetium no. 😦

Erin: I’m sad but also wondering where my husband is? He should be here.

Lutetium: … I’m also kind of wondering where my husband is, to be honest.

Death: Oʜ, I ɢᴏᴛ ʜɪᴍ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ.

Lutetium: No, I meant the hot one.

Well, neither husband is here but Felisha is. She will be traumatized for life.

Or not.

Felisha: Platinum, is that your mom? She’s super pretty!

Platinum: OmiGOD, can you shut up? My grandma is dying.

Lutetium: Please, Death, I’ve barely lived!

Death: Yᴏᴜ’ᴠᴇ ʜᴀᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ғɪᴠᴇ ᴋɪᴅs, ᴛᴡᴏ ʜᴜsʙᴀɴᴅs, ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ɢʀᴀɴᴅᴋɪᴅs. Dᴏɴ’ᴛ ʙᴇ ɢʀᴇᴇᴅʏ.

Lutetium: Yeah, but I’ve barely lived with my second husband, who is hot and young! And I literally had a death flower on me until like a couple hours ago! I’ve been ripped off.


Sheree: Ugh, first I die, and then some other lady dies? This party sucks.

Okay, fine, Sheree. Be that way. You were kind of outside of the party’s intended age demographic anyway. :/

Agh. To make things worse, Lutetium didn’t even get the best grave! I refuse to believe it!

Generation 1 Goals

✓Date/Marry w/ loves the outdoors, green thumb, or angler

✓No Woohoo before Marriage

✓Get Married

✓Have both Boy and Girl

✓No Watermelons/Apples to sway gender of child

✓Master Gardening Skill

✓Plant Every Plant from Grocery Store

Obtain all Plants/Seeds (We missed Cherimola Blan Grapes, Cherries, Cranerlet Nuala Grapes, Glow Orbs, Renoit Grapes and White Caps)

If you get call for learning Steak, Egg, Cheese, Omni plant, complete it. (No one ever called us because they’re losers.)

Go for the Gold

I never know how to start new chapters. But I’m not starting it out with ‘the game screwed up and the trip to Egypt never happened’ and that’s all I could really want.

Iridium, I asked before we left ‘do you have to go to the Temple of Queen Hatshepsut’ and you said no!

Iridium: But I didn’t have to go then.

The generic ‘porcelain dining set’ on Iridium’s bedside table has been replaced by some of the things we picked up in Egypt. Nothing says ‘sweet dreams’ like a jar with a human organ inside.

Turns out that Erin was more pregnant than I thought. Oops.

Erin: So I guess when the paparazzi said I peed my pants, it was actually just my water breaking!

No, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t it.

Meet Gold! He’s a friendly couch potato, and the last kid for this generation, according to my charts.

Erin: I can finally go back to work. ;u;

Here we see a ghost invading our hot tub.

… Now that we have nice things, I might have to move all the paparazzi and zombie ghosts somewhere else. Being stuck here isn’t meant to be a reward.

And here we have Gold’s room. There aren’t a lot of toddler-centered items in this game that fit the theme of ‘social networking.’ We have the toy that’s supposed to be an alien communication ray or something on the floor there, and that was as close as I could find.

The painting on the wall was something that we got for free for being celebrities. I figured I wouldn’t move it when I went in to redecorate the room. It can serve as #SelfieGoals for Gold.

Also, Gold isn’t blue.

Somehow, Iridium got homework while over in Egypt or something. She never actually went to school yet so we had no idea she was even supposed to do it. Oops.

And then the bus parked so far away from the house that the game thought Iridium was ‘skipping school’ while running to catch it.

In more positive news, Tantalum got a promotion, so we’re moving on up and getting closer to those generation goals.

And Erin is causing havoc since she became a werewolf after giving birth.

I… don’t actually know if Gold is a werewolf or not. I guess we’ll see.

Erin went off on a hunt by herself and I was extremely confused to read ‘Carbide’ after Tungsten rather than ‘Mendeleev.’

… actually we haven’t seen Tungsten in a while. I’m pretty sure he got invited to the wedding but I don’t remember him actually being interesting during.

Aaaand Iridium’s in trouble for skipping school.

But she’s not grounded or in time out at least, which is good because I had Plans.

Tantalum had an opportunity to review the fancy restaurant in town. Which he can’t actually do unless he eats alone, but we’re rich enough that he can just get two dinners. Also a lot of people in the family were tired and I wanted them in the Motive Mobile.

Unfortunately, they ate inside. So no pictures. : I

Iridium sat down to do her homework after, though, and she looks very cute in her formalwear.

Then I had a great idea. It’s, like, midnight now in game, so Iridium can’t go anywhere on her own. But she can go and drop off a pile of permission slips if Tantalum goes to the town hall with her.

And town hall is apparently still open, so off we go.

Iridium: Thank you for driving me, even though it’s like two in the morning.

Tantalum: It doesn’t really matter how late it is because sitting in our van for five minutes is like the equivalent of eight hours of sleep.

Iridium: True.

Tantalum: Also I had the option to graduate? And I kind of want to do that.

Iridium: Dad you’re so embarrassing.

Then we had to wait for Tantalum to graduate, and it pulled everyone from the house back out to attend the graduation at two in the morning.

So that was fun.

I then realized that I hadn’t done toddler skills with Platinum. What with a marriage, a death, a trip to Egypt, and the birth of another child, it kind of slipped my mind. So we’re trying now.

Tantalum: I almost taught him to walk before the age transition got triggered.

Platinum: I feel so loved. : I

When going to fix up Platinum’s wardrobe, I discovered that this was something we got when we brought a butler into the family. Sweet!

You may also notice that Lutetium has some new pictures with Ernest.

… also I just discovered that Lutetium has a blog and social media.

I’m a little concerned.

Also a little disappointed that picking the maid outfit gave Tantalum this, and not the dress. He would have rocked the dress. But whatever.

And I’m not giving you a proper picture of Platinum until he showers because he’s very stinky. And then went straight to bed. But I did remember to take pictures, it will just take a bit to get to them.

Meanwhile, Sam is apparently fulfilling skill challenges on his own. He’s doing better than the sims that I’m actually paying attention to. This is not okay.

Lutetium: Want to hear me brag about my grandchildren?

Tantalum: I mean, I’d love to, seeing as all of your grandchildren are also my children. But none of the people in these pictures are even remotely related to us.

Only one more day before we see if Gold has pink hair or hair that is… still kind of pinkish but in a more purple-y way.


Iridium is up early to finish her homework, and also ambush the schoolbus. Today, I will send her out to where the bus spawned a bit early, so she can get on before the game thinks that she’s skipping school. It’s the perfect plan.

Iridium: Yeah, if this ghost stops trying to distract me from my algebra. : I

Chloe: This child disgusts me!

Iridium: You’re officially my least favorite grandma.

That explain the random juice box full of blood that’s been sitting on the floor.

Aaaand now the bus decides to park close to the house.

Iridium: Well, I already came this far, I’m not walking all the way back there.

Do you really want to be caught ‘skipping school,’ again, Iridium?

Iridium: What? It won’t take me that long; I’ll get to school before the bus does!

And she proceeded to do just that.

She’ll be in good shape to start exploring tombs, that’s for sure.

Speaking of exploring tombs, that was apparently the field trip today.

Platinum: Um… this is kind of more my sister’s thing. o_o

We threw a tiny birthday party for Gold when the kids got back from school. Hopefully I’ll remember about toddler skills this time.

Gold does not inherit Erin’s (dyed) pink hair, and instead gets the Imaginary Friend spiceberry-and-black look. I approve of the pointy ears.