I thought this was going to be a short chapter because Iridium had two days until her birthday. But I take a lot of pictures so it’s longer than expected.
Latonya: Hey did you know I’m your aunt now? And also the mother of your girlfriend apparently? Pretty wacky, right?
Iridium: … I’m literally on my way to school right now…
And then Erin came to yell at her for skipping school. Starting things off on the right foot.
Then Erin had a vaccination clinic.
Dude: OMG can I has autograph?
Erin: Um… I’m kind of working right now…
Pigtails: Ugh, she keeps being stopped for photos and shit and I can’t even accurately complain about how long I’ve been here ’cause I forgot my watch.
… wait a second.
Dedrick! It’s Dedrick, the guy who used to hang out around the teens, especially when Iridium was trying to spend some time with her girlfriend. Looks like he wasn’t eaten by Sheree or anything weird like that.
Still no word about what happened to the little blonde girl but also I don’t remember her name.
Erin: I have HAD it, mister!
Gold: Okay, give me a time out.
Erin: No, that’s not going to teach you anything. I’m going to take something away from you that you care about, so you’ll really think about what you’ve done.
Erin: No foosball.
Gold: … I’ve never touched that thing in my life so okay.
Geez, what’s got her so upset?
… that would do it.
Tantalum is still working hard. Because I make him work hard. He works hard to not work hard whenever I’m not looking.
He’s currently writing a horror novel entitled “Household With Three Teenagers.”
I don’t know why Platinum is just napping, but also it’s 8 PM.
I had him invite over his boyfriend–who has a name which is Aziz–and then actually go to bed.
I found you. Go write. And also get another charisma skill point.
We’ve been really lax with cleaning up all the dead plants. : /
Erin: … can’t you just delete everything since we’re not doing anything with the garden now?
… oh. That would make way more sense.
Erin: Also I need a leg doctor immediately.
We’ve also been lax with the dish-washing recently. But deleting the entire kitchen isn’t really an option.
Have encountered a glitch that I think is related to the free vacation? The game thinks Erin is off in some other town so she can’t fulfill the spleen(?) donation opportunity.
Erin: Oh thank fuck.
Gold: Okay, but think about it. Restaurants are for eating. Hospitals are for sick people. Libraries are for reading. You don’t mix and match things. So if learning is supposed to be done at school, why are they sending learning stuff home? Home is for goofing off and stuff, not learning. I say we boycott homework.
Platinum: Please leave me out of this.
Gold: Okay, but when I post this on my blog and start a revolution you’re gonna regret not listening to me.
Erin attempts to stage an intervention.
Erin: Gold, sweetie, I know you’re very involved in the little people on your phone, or whatever it is you do, but maybe there are other things you could be interested in? Like the television. You could watch that workout show with your sister.
Erin: Or if you don’t want to give up using your phone, I heard of this Tinder app that lets you meet new people and then… something about gardening?
Gold: Mom I’m fourteen.
And then Erin had to chew out Platinum for something I guess.
Gold: Hold on I gotta make a blog post about this.
Erin: … wow. You’re using our family drama to entertain strangers on the internet?
Yeah, Gold. How low can you get.
I didn’t see any pop-ups and couldn’t find him waiting outside the house, either, so I figured that we’d invited him over too late and that he was coming the next day. :I
I felt bad about abandoning Platinum’s boyfriend
moreso than we have already so I wasn’t that into Ernest’s birthday, but it happened and then Erin took some experimental drugs.
Oh, cool, did it make it so she’ll learn skills faster or something?
OH, you meant literally–
Erin: Yes. Yes I did.
… probably should have waited to delete those sprinklers. Whoops.
Erin: HOLY SHIT PUT ME OUT
Ernest: Hold on, hold on. I had to go get changed because my original outfit was too hideous to be shown on the internet.
And after Erin was extinguished he went to go fix the broken sink, because this household would fall apart without him. I went soft and let Erin pursue her hopes and dreams so Ernest is the only one around to fix things and do the laundry.
Iridium: Hey, Platinum, I was gonna shower. What are you doing in here?
… not gonna comment.
Aziz flew over from Egypt for the second time in two days and immediately hit on his boyfriend’s mom. Which, rude, but it also means he’s a grown up now.
They can only do friendly hugs now.
Riley: Hey, I made friends with the paperboy. He’s only allowed to exist for an hour each morning, which we bonded over ’cause I’m not supposed to exist at all?
Riley: Also your boyfriend is too old for you now, you loser!
We were supposed to be getting ready for Iridium’s birthday but I guess it’s this glitch-girl’s birthday?
Aziz: I am… very concerned. Who is this girl? Why do you laugh at her? Why does an orb float a few inches over her head?
Platinum: HAHA YOUR BOOBS ARE SMALL.
Riley: YOU’RE A JERK AND YOUR OPINION DOESN’T AFFECT MY SELF-ESTEEM.
Platinum: … wow I’m having indecent thoughts right now.
Went inside to check up on the party preparation and came back to find that Aziz and Platinum broke up? Which is… probably for the better.
Aziz: I’m going to go get a drink. Which I can legally do as an adult.
Riley: BOO! STOP THINKING ABOUT YOUR EX AND PAY ATTENTION TO ME.
Platinum: Actually… you’re kind of cute. Want to go out and possibly bring destroy the world?
Riley: More than anything.
Riley: Except you can’t choose any romantic interaction with me.
Platinum: Can I ask you to get me a snack?
Riley: Yeah but I’ll kick you in the balls if you do.
Erin: BOO! RILEY! GET YOUR GLITCHY BUTT OUT OF HERE!
The birthday party began and it wasn’t on a full moon, for once. No zombies to be had.
… oh shoot. Maybe that’s what happened to the little blonde kid. Rest in peace blonde kid, devoured by zombies.
Fiona: I brought imaginary food for the party, but I think it got cold on the way here.
Tungsten: Maybe you can heat it up over the bonfire.
Fiona: 😮 Good idea!
I thought for a moment that Latonya also brought imaginary food, but she brought floor calzones. A little less sanitary but a lot more filling.
Hafnium: Hooray! That’s my niece!
Iridium: At least my extended family is here to watch me become an adult.
Sheree: Yay, Mr. Mendeleev!
… not who you’re supposed to be cheering for.
Fiona: I’m excited for my niece but also desperately need a chiropractor.
Iridium grew up but you don’t get to see her until the next chapter. To keep things fair or something like that.
… um. Game.
Game. Riley’s right there. But okay. Let’s see what happens when we put the toy down while the glitched IF is hanging around.
Absolutely nothing, apparently?
Let’s not think about this too deeply.
The first candidate for our Gen 3 Heir is Iridium Mendeleev, an adventurous, brave, excitable, and athletic werewolf. Her goal is to become a world-renowned adventurer and also loot a ton of graves. She’s dating Sheree Kolb, who is somehow her aunt’s daughter (not blood related, at least) and possibly a cryptid who killed the little blonde girl from ages ago.
Platinum Mendeleev is inappropriate, irresistible, perceptive, and friendly. He wants to be a heartbreaker and basically has to date a bunch of people to fulfill his generation goals. He was dating Aziz Moussa, and is now possibly looking into dating his glitchy imaginary friend. But his whole thing is dating a lot of people so he could end up with anyone. Maybe things will come full circle and he ends up with Aziz again. Who knows.
Gold Mendeleev is absent-minded, friendly, a computer whiz, and a couch potato. He wants to become a famous blogger, and has a blog called ‘The Gold Standard’ which has a whopping 28 followers. Thinks he’s revolutionary but he’s not. He’s not dating anyone yet and unfortunately he can’t use a dating app because Seasons makes my computer cry. He’s very pretty tho. (I actually haven’t done much with the blogging thing so as long as there’s space in the house I’ll probably keep him around even if he doesn’t win.)